Imposter to Empowered
What the Heck is “Imposter Syndrome”?
If you’re on social media, then you’ve probably heard this term before — maybe you’ve even felt it too, in a hobby, a sport, a subject in school, your job, or anything that you’re passionate about. You enjoy this passion to your core, so much so that all of your friends turn to you for any and all information about it. Maybe you’ve even won awards? You probably chalk it up to chance or luck, and you definitely wouldn’t call yourself an expert (even if you do know more than the average person about this passion). Imposter syndrome is “a false and sometimes crippling belief that one's successes are the product of luck or fraud rather than skill.” Those who experience this phenomenon are typically high achievers. More specifically, it is most prevalent in Womxn and Womxn of Color.
Wait, Do I Have That?
If you’re still reading and have this question, there’s a good chance you’ve experienced this before, or are experiencing this now! We grew up in a setting where the structure was set for us and we were constantly tested to see how we compared to our peers (ex: standardized testing). Once that structure was complete, (i.e. K-12th grade / trade school / college / apprenticeships) we floundered because the template for measuring success was now irrelevant and we had to discover what the new template consisted of.
As mentioned, many people with imposter syndrome are high achievers who, despite glaringly obvious evidence proving otherwise, believe they are frauds and are nervous about being found out by their peers. Guess what — there’s a really good chance that you know more than you’re giving yourself credit for. Nobody can know everything there is to know about a certain topic but it’s the people who remain curious that get the chance to know more.
Fake It ‘Til You Make It
The older I get, the more I realize that nobody really knows what they’re doing and we’re all just winging it. The people we look up to because they seem to have it all figured out have just discovered that it’s okay not to know everything. Being unsure about yourself doesn’t mean that you know nothing. We live in a white, male-dominated world where the template seems to be designed for them. Other perspectives don’t appear to fit the mold, leaving marginalized communities to feel unsure of ourselves if we aren’t 100% perfect in what we know. Just because people appear confident doesn’t mean they know what they’re doing. Present your idea, show off your passion, and don’t be afraid to be great at what you know how to do.
Now What Do I Do?
Shine a light on that bad boy - Shame grows in the dark. By sharing with others that you’re feeling this way, you allow yourself the chance to not only free yourself from this shame but give others the space to talk about their own feelings of imposter syndrome, which normalizes and validates how you’re feeling while helping them too!
Get curious - Who told you you weren't good at this? Do we value their opinion? Is it your brain lying to you? Does the provided template give you space? How do YOU define success?
Make a list of all the external validation -Write down the compliments you receive so that, when you’re doubting yourself, you can reference this.
Make a list of all the internal validation - You can give yourself credit! You really do know things. Basic things count and sometimes they turn out to be big things.
Externalize the imposter syndrome - Give it a name, befriend it, and realize that while this may be part of you, it’s not ALL of you.
Notice who’s around - (and not around) when you’re feeling your best about your abilities. Sometimes we can’t control this aspect but we may be able to limit or enhance others’ presence.
Get comfy with the uncomfy - There's always going to be something uncomfortable in our lives to deal with. Take a small step outside your comfort zone when possible. The more you expand, the bigger your bubble grows. Baby steps add up to big progress!
We aren’t supposed to be perfect - The sooner you allow yourself to be human, the more content you can be. Give yourself the grace to be messy and try it all!
Use these suggestions to get curious and explore what makes you feel best. If you remain curious about your passion, this “imposter syndrome” can become your superpower.
